It’s taken me a few days to even write this because I felt so bad about ripping into a movie, but here we are: my review of Jurassic World Rebirth.
The film brings the same sort of story but with Zora, played by Scarlett Johansson, who now leads a team back to the original Jurassic Park island. This island has been converted into a research facility focused on DNA manipulation. Their mission? To track down three specific dinosaur species and collect DNA samples, all for a corporation trying to profit off of “saving the world from disease.”
Honestly, where do I even begin with the problems?
The CGI: A Prehistoric Disaster
My absolute biggest gripe with this movie, and there were many, was the CGI. This was an expensive film, and I was expecting some kind of visual masterpiece. Instead, it was just… bad. I’m talking about people looking superimposed, dinosaurs that looked less convincing than in the original Jurassic Park. Seriously, where did the budget go? It felt like a massive step backward.
Dialogue That Doesn’t Connect
Next up, the dialogue. Look, I know you’re not going into a Jurassic World movie for groundbreaking conversations, but this just felt disjointed. Nothing felt cohesive, nothing connected for me. It was just… there.
The Baffling Family Subplot
Then there’s the family. They introduce this family into the storyline, and I honestly have no idea what purpose they served. Were we supposed to care? Understand their dynamic? Because I didn’t get it at all. I get the little girl with the dinosaur in her backpack – it’s clearly a cash grab for merchandise. But the entire family dynamic made no sense to me being there. It wasn’t developed well, and frankly, I didn’t care about any of them. The only memorable scene in the entire film involved this family on a raft with a dinosaur. That was, without a doubt, the best part.
Mutant Dinosaur or Alien Wannabe?
As the movie limps toward its climax, you expect the typical running-and-being-chased scenario. But then, they throw in a mutant dinosaur. I understand trying a new angle to keep the story fresh, but this felt less like a dinosaur film and more like a monster movie. It leaned heavily into a horror-alien vibe. In fact, this “mutant dinosaur” strongly resembled aliens to me. And for those saying it’s original? I think it’s lazy. They could have done so much more.
A Colossal Letdown
Overall, Jurassic World Rebirth was a huge disappointment. The acting felt subpar, and the storylines were forced and pieced together like a bad mod podge. There was nothing collective or cohesive about it. To be honest, by the end, I just wanted all the characters to be eaten by dinosaurs. Every single one of them.
And that’s why I’m giving it 1 out of 5 stars.
